raising hunter

I went and slept at home last night, but Jeremy stayed here with him and he said Hunter slept really well during the night. Hunter is doing good this morning...he is sitting in the chair with daddy and playing with a couple of his favorite toys. We even got a little smile out of him. It seems like he is in a small way getting used to having the trach in his neck. Hopefully he will take a bottle today and not have to have the feeding tube in anymore. I can only imagine how different it must feel for him to swallow now. He will get used to this new feeling but sooner than later I hope. I went and slept at home last night, but Jeremy stayed here with him and he said Hunter slept really well during the night.

This still feels unreal to me, I wish I could wake up from the bad dream. As I was getting ready to go back to the hospital this morning, I checked his crib hoping to see Hunter sleeping there...I knew he wouldn't be there, but at least for a few seconds while walking into his room I had a tiny hope he would be there. I know he will be there soon but not for a while.

I still feel bad sometimes, I fear, did we make the right decision? Should we have done something else? Was there something I could have done the prevent this? On the other hand I am thankful though, that we didn't have some scary episode where he got sick and couldn't breathe. I don't know what I would have done. So I guess this is a blessing in disguise because we now know what was causing his noisy breathing and we are working to fix it. I told Hunter when he grows up and is a big boy he will have quite a story to tell his friends. He'll even be able to show a few "battle scars".

Wide awake!

Sleepy boy