Missing Gram....

I've been really missing my Grandma lately. I still think to myself multiple times a week "I need to call Gram and update her on Hunter etc"...Only to remember, I can't. She won't be answering her phone...I've known her number by heart for as long as I can remember and sometimes I think I want to call it just to hear it ring and maybe hope for a split second she might just pick up.

I still have not really started to even begin to fully grieve her loss just yet. My brain in packed full of all things Hunter right now. It's also that I don't want to just yet. I am not ready. I miss her so much though. It's almost surreal to look back just a few short months when I got to see her just days before she passed. I had to leave early for my flight that morning and I told her I loved her and I know I said something else, but I can't remember exactly what it was. I knew in my head it was the last time I'd see her alive but in my heart I wished that weren't true. We said our goodbyes just as we had done before, whenever I'd go home to visit. I wanted to hug her a little longer and a little harder but I didn't want her to think I knew she was going to be gone soon. I wanted it to be like before when we'd hug and say goodbye and know that I'd see her on my next visit home....<3